[A bus bearing the sign 'Welcome Group Seiryuu' comes into view. Ashitare sits on the roof of the moving bus and makes several annoying animal noises.]
Nakago: Soi, please silence Ashitare.
Soi: [snaps her fingers while resting her head on Nakago's shoulder] Yes, Nakago.
[Lightning flashes suddenly and Ashitare becomes silent. The remainder of the Seiryuu group blink in surprise.]
Tetsuya: [annoyed] Why am I THEIR driver?
Yui: [appears over his left shoulder] Sorry for dragging you along with us, Tetsuya-san.
Tetsuya: [blushing] Wadda ya mean? Someone has to protect Yui-chan from that perverted brat.
Suboshi: [threatening tone] WHO is a perverted brat? Be thankful, Ryuseisui, you're gonna get to taste blood again!
[Tetsuya screams loudly.]
Yui: Stop that, Suboshi. I'll go and tattle to the office!
Suboshi: Touma-san...
Yui: [annoyed] That's "Yui Hongo".
Suboshi: Damn, they should've sent us overseas at least. Gunma hot springs are too far into the country.
[Suboshi and Yui quickly dodge a large ball of energy that is thrown in their direction.]
Tetsuya: Ple...please don't throw ki while on the bus.
Nakago: [lowering his hand] I will not forgive anyone who speaks badly of Northern Kantou.
Director: Furusawa-kun, how many times must I say this? You need to say 'forGIVE' not 'FORgive'.
Nakago: [holding a copy of the script] Ye-es, excuse me.
Tomo: [reading a letter] "You all have worked hard for this over the past year. Please enjoy relaxing at the hot springs." signed by Bandai, Shogakukan, TX, and Movic. How nice.
Miboshi: What about Pierrot?
Tomo: The producer is too cheap.
[Tomo and Miboshi snicker.]
Suboshi: But if we all got these letters then the Suzaku group might have, also.
Yui: Hey, where is Amiboshi? Why isn't he on this bus?
Soi: [still cuddling Nakago] He is most likely on 'their' bus.
Yui: [raising Suboshi's shirt sleeve] I see.
Suboshi: [nervously] Yui-sama, you're so darling.
Yui: [angry glare] Don't be a moron.
Nuriko: [singing] Saite chiru toki wa migoto chirimasho... Yes, thank you very much! Now, my next performance will be a hit single from the character vocals CD. It will be a best seller!
[Tasuki, Chichiri, and Mitsukake are staring at Nuriko with very unenthusiastic faces.]
Chichiri: It's so annoying, no da.
Tasuki: That was dumb luck. I won't lose next time.
Mitsukake: I'll put out at least three more singles, myself.
[Tasuki and Chichiri turn around and look at Mitsukake.]
Mitsukake: [stands up angrily and rolls up his sleeve] I'm gonna kick your asses!
Tasuki: What'd I say?!
Chiriko: [pale faced] Tasuki-san?
[Mitsukake gets Chichiri in a headlock.]
Tasuki: What is it, Chiriko? Why do you look all teary-eyed?
Chiriko: [very shakily] I think I'm gonna be sick...
Tasuki: What?! For real?!
[Tasuki tries to distance himself from Chiriko.]
Chichiri: Hold it in, Chiriko!
Mitsukake: I'll make you feel better.
[Mitsukake uses his healing power on Chiriko.]
Chiriko: It didn't work!
Tasuki: Quick! Open a window!
Chichiri: You're supposed to go to the front of the bus in cases like this, no da.
[Chiriko suddenly pops up over Keisuke's shoulder as he is driving the bus.]
Chiriko: Take care of me..........
Keisuke: Stop it!! Don't come over here!!
Chiriko: You're all so mean!
Nuriko: [annoyed] Doesn't anyone want to listen to my songs?
Tasuki: Shaddup! How many times do you havta sing?!
[Tamahome and Miaka are cuddling in the back of the bus.]
Miaka: Tamahome...
Tamahome: Miaka...
Miaka: Tamahome...
Tamahome: Miaka...
Miaka: Tamahome...
Tamahome: Miaka...
[Amiboshi flinches uncomfortably.]
Hotohori: What's the matter, Amiboshi?
Amiboshi: [looking at his right arm] My brother is sending me a message. It's from Yui-san. ''What the hell do you think you are doing on that bus? I'll beat the crap out of you later."
Chichiri: Scary words, no da.
Hotohori: I don't understand that girl's character at all.
Tasuki: [grabs Amiboshi's left arm and grins] Ok! I'm gonna write 'em back!
Amiboshi: [hesitantly] Jus...just a second....
Suboshi: Ouch....ouch! Yui-sama, they've sent over a lot of messages!
Yui: [holding up Suboshi's left arm] "I like it over here because the wonderful Tasuki-san is...."
Tasuki: [still writing on Amiboshi's left arm] "...is here too."
Amiboshi: Tasuki-san?
Tasuki: Eh?
Amiboshi: [holding up his right hand] They know what is going on.
[Amiboshi's right hand reads "Stop that, you fanged idiot!".]
Tasuki: Damn them!!
Suboshi: [laying on his stomach] It hurts!! Stop it!!
Yui: [holding him down] Just lay still!
[Suboshi's back reads "Demonic Midget" and "Kakaka the Homo".]
Tomo: That's right! What is the meaning of this? "Kakaka the homo." These words came from that crossdresser, no doubt.
Suboshi: I'm not doing any of this!!
[Tasuki and Chichiri show Tamahome what is now written on Amiboshi's back. It says, "Ghost! You're a monster ghost!".]
Tasuki: Lookie what they wrote!
[Tamahome looks extremely pissed and a red aura surrounds his body. His fists are clenched.]
Amiboshi: [nervously] Calm down, Tamahome-san. I'm not the one doing this.
Tomo: Don't be rediculous...
Yui: Ooooh, now Miaka is getting involved!
Suboshi: [painfully] Agh! Stop it!!
Nakago: [sitting away from the action, eyes closed] Idiots...
Miboshi: Nakago-sama, Tamahome asked if you've gotten any fan letters.
[Miboshi, Yui, and Tomo watch in surprise as Nakago's aura starts to flare up.]
Yui: Looks like it worked...
Tomo: So, THAT'S what has been bothering him...
Soi: [placing her head on Nakago's shoulder] Nakago-sama needs only me.
Miboshi: [looking worried] Saying something like that will just make him even more angry, you know.
Suboshi: [eyes tearing up from the pain] Nakago-san, let's put an end to all this now, okay?
[Nakago holds up a sharp object.]
Suboshi: A NAIL?!?! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!
Yui: There's no helping him even with that look in his eyes...
Tomo: Poor guy...
Suboshi: [painfully] AGH! AGH! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Miboshi: Give it your best...
[The Seiryuu bus drives off into the distance, Ashitare's burnt body lies on top of it.]
[The Seiryuu bus and the Suzaku bus pull up in front of the hot springs at the same time. Keisuke and Tetsuya leap out of their buses and run to hug one another.]
Keisuke: Tetsuya!!
Tetsuya: Keisuke!! [now holding Keisuke] I was so scared!
Keisuke: [holding onto Tetsuya] My bus had such a foul smell!
[Mitsukake, Tasuki, and Hotohori look wearily towards the front of their bus. A disgusting aroma looms in the air around them.]
Tasuki: [wearily] Chiriko, you okay now? Feel better?
Chiriko: [cheerily] Yep! I just ***** **, so I'm feeling much better now! [holds up a blue bag full of vomit] You wanna see it?
[A note pops up on the TV screen. "WARNING, To the staff of Studio Pierrot. If you continue to air gags such as these, the Fushigi Yuugi videos will eventually be taken out of circulation. Bideorin (Videolin)"]
Tasuki: So, let's have some fun now!
Hotohori: Certainly. Let's visit the hot springs, for starters.
[Tamahome takes a peek at the inside of the Seiryuu bus. It is much nicer than the inside of the Suzaku bus.]
Tamahome: [jealous tone] Awful nice bus you've got here.
Nakago: [smug grin] Not much point in saying this to you now, but it seems obvious to me who the author's favorite character must be.
Soi: [cuddling Nakago] Mmmmm....Nakago.....
Nakago: Soi, please distance yourself from me a little.
Tamahome: Look who's talking. You weren't even in part two of the manga.
[Tamahome quickly dodges an energy attack that Nakago hurls at him. It hits the Suzaku bus, Keisuke, and Tetsuya instead.]
Tamahome: What the...?! You bastard! I saw your CD!
[Nakago hurls another energy attack at Tamahome.]
Miaka: Please stop that!
Nakago: Shut up, Araki!
Miaka: What'd you say?!
Chiriko: Hey, th...this is...
Tasuki: What's up, Chiriko? You have a part in this skit now?
Chiriko: We shouldn't have come to this place!
[Amiboshi and Chichiri are watching Miaka beat the crap out of Nakago.]
Miaka: [paused with one fist in the air] What's wrong?
Chichiri: What's bad about this place, no da?
Chiriko: Everyone, you must please dress up as women!
Tomo: Eh?
Miboshi: Wha...?
Chiriko: The reason is written right here.
[Chiriko holds up a copy of a Fushigi Yuugi manga.]
Chiriko: Did you all read it?
Everyone: Yep!
[A sign above the group of characters reads, "Congradulations! More than 10 million copies of Fushigi Yuugi manga have been sold!"]
Tamahome: [holding up a calculator] The author, Watase-san, is amazing. 10 million copies, right? If one copy costs about this much then....
Yui: Stop that...
[Tamahome becomes mistified by the number that appears on the calculator.]
Yui: Oh well, that is just how your character is, after all.
Chiriko: Anyway, as I was saying... The hot spring is named like this so, for the nationwide fans, you guys have to do what you have to do.
[The sign in front of the building reads 'Prohibited Women's Hot Springs'.]
Hotohori: So something like this?
Mitsukake: Don't they want us to perform this episode properly?
Nuriko: They'd rather see a scene featuring me.
Chiriko: There was a scene featuring the kanji on my foot.
[Chiriko claps as he motions for all of the guys to go change inside the bus.]
Chiriko: Yes, yes, everyone! Now, go change into dresses and put on some make-up.
Hotohori: How interesting. I obviously don't need any make-up but perhaps I'll go change.
Nuriko: I don't even really need to change.
Tomo: [looking into a small mirror] Perhaps I should remove some make-up instead...
Miboshi: What am I gonna do?
[Ashitare utters a few odd animal noises that translate to "People have said I looked like a little girl ever since I was a child". Upon hearing this, Nakago and Hotohori start to beat up the poor ugly guy.]
Nakago: [whipping Ashitare] Why you...! Don't look so ugly!
Hotohori: [kicking Ashitare] Take that, and that!
Nuriko: [watching from the sidelines] Hotohori-sama....I wonder why he is so mean to ugly creatures.
Chiriko: Sorry for the wait, everyone!
[Everybody turns to see Chiriko emerge from the bus but the curtain falls and the skit ends.]
Everyone: No fair!
Nuriko: [now in a dress] Just as I thought, I am still an excellent crossdresser.
Miaka: Hey, didn't you say you'd never do that again?
Nakago: [rather emberassed, also in a dress] Chichiri, what are you going to change into?
Chichiri: That's easy, no da!
[Chichiri disappears into a cloud of smoke and emerges dressed exactly like his dead fiancee.]
Yui: Wow, amazing! You'll probably be more popular this way.
Nuriko: I'm still much cuter.
Miaka: I see. That look must be modeled after the fiancee that you lost because of your best friend, right?
[Chichiri turns away from everyone for a moment in depression.]
Miaka: Oops...
Yui: Miaka, you're going to end up alone someday.
Chiriko: [stepping off the bus] Sorry for the wait.
Miaka: Oh, Chiriko, you're adorable!
Nuriko: You make a pretty good looking girl.
[Tasuki and Tamahome step off the bus in their dresses and blush/scowl as everyone gets a good laugh at their expense. Keisuke and Tetsuya come out next and look completely rediculous.]
Miaka: Big brother (Keisuke), that's cute!
Yui: Tetsuya-san...
Keisuke: [emberassed and smirking] I sorta like this.
Tetsuya: [emberassed and smirking] I don't care what happens anymore.
[Everyone gathers together laughing and talking as they wait for Mitsukake to finish getting dressed.]
Miaka: [happily] Ah, Mitsukake!
[They all immediatley stop talking as Mitsukake appears. They each turn pale shades of blue as they get a good look at him.]
Mitsukake: There wasn't a size that fits me...
[Everyone is speechless.]
Tamahome: I don't think that's the problem...
Chiriko: I think I'm gonna be sick again!
Tasuki: Hold on, Chiriko, I'll get the bag for ya!
Tama: [sitting on top of one of the buses] Nyao...
Mitsukake: Tama, come down here.
Tama: HISS!!
Hot Springs Employee: Welcome, everyone! Men are prohibited here. Our large bath area for women is our pride and... [glares suspiciously] There is a man among them!
Mitsukake: It...it's not me.
[Three of the female hot spring employees tie up Mitsukake and lead him away.]
Mitsukake: Stop it! You people are rude! What part of me is a man?!
[Mitsukake is taken out of view.]
Chiriko: Poor guy. They're gonna turn him into breeding stock.
[Tasuki and Tamahome's eyes widen.]
Tasuki, Tamahome, Keisuke, and Tetsuya: What?! Breeding stock?!
Chiriko: Yes, they make you serve all of the women that stay here.
[Keisuke quickly pulls off his dress and wig.]
Miaka: Big brother (Keisuke), what are you doing?!
Keisuke: [grinning] Miaka, your big brother has found the path to follow in life!
Miaka: Tamahome!?
[Tasuki, Tamahome, Keisuke, and Tetsuya march off towards the hot springs entrace singing 'We're guys'.]
[The red light outside a recording room door turns off. The door opens and the cast members begin to enter the hallway.]
Amiboshi: Ah, so that's where it is?
Tamahome: Yep. You saw lots of different colored containers there, right?
Nuriko: Lunch lasts till 2 p.m. right?
Character Designer: Good work! It'd be my pleasure to treat everyone for everything up to today.
Tasuki: [with an eyebrow raised] Who's this white guy?
Yui: [scowling] He's the character designer, sorta like the creature that directs the anime.
Tasuki: [scowling] So, THAT'S the guy, eh?
Mitsukake: [scowling] He made me speak using line drawings for two years.
Hotohori: [scowling] Ack, we're starting to peel!
[Tasuki, Yui, Tamahome, and Hotohori quickly start to push the Character Designer out the door with them.]
Tasuki, Yui, Tamahome, and Hotohori: We were just joking with ya!
[Chiriko, Chichiri, and Soi watch them leave. Miaka is standing in the doorway to the now empty recording studio. She takes a look back into the room for a moment before someone begins turning off all of the lights in the building.]
Studio Employee: Araki-san, everyone is leaving now.
Miaka: Okay.
[The door to the recording studio closes and the scene fades to black.]