Disclaimer and legal junk:
Okay, we don’t own Gundam Wing or any of the characters so please don’t sue us. *begs* We have no money, so, please? *shows empty pockets* Also, to warn you, this was written in the wee hours of the morning. >>;;;

In a faraway place, who knows actually where it was, a little cabin stood in the middle of a forest. Five rocking chairs sat on the porch, one with a tiny little package equipped to the underside of the seat. As the morning dawned, the curtains of a dusty window were pushed aside. An old face with crusty white bangs peered around to locate any intruders. "Yeah! I'm up before Heero!" The face disappeared and the small door of the cottage burst open.

Trowa Barton, although hardly recognizable to us Gundam Wing fans, hobbled to the afore mentioned specially equipped chair. Plopping down, he enjoyed the sunrise as an old pathetic looking dog lie by an empty wicker rocker, swishing its graying tail.

Suddenly, the cottage door slammed open and a particularly striking old man in spandex rushed, as fast as his broken hip could carry him, to Trowa's side. "Get outta by chair!" Heero yelled.

"No way, Heero," Trowa remained seated, undaunted, "It's my turn to sit in the good chair."

"I challenge you! Fight me for this chair!"

"Sit down before your hip gives out on you."

Heero mumbled as he sat, "Omae o korosu."

Time passed, with Heero looking this way and that for something, when a bald tallish gentleman it priest's garb slowly made his way toward the chair beside Heero. He was followed by a short, squinty eyed man with a pigtail. Trowa had nodded off, and Wu-Fei shoved his elbow to wake him. "You wanna sleep, old man, then go back to bed!"

"Don't call me old man." Trowa angrily retorted.

"Hey, whatever happened to Relena?" Duo piped in as an old man with white hair walked toward the wicker chair. The dog respectfully stood and looked lovingly up at Quatre as he sat.

"She's dead, you idiot," Wu-Fei spat out.

Heero shot an evil look at Wu-Fei before going back to his never-ending search. Trowa shook his head at the insensitivity; "she's not dead Wu-Fei. She's living impaired."

Wu-Fei sneezed as Trowa nodded off. Duo sat, stunned, his mouth worked wordlessly. "Relena died!?" he finally spat out.

Heero sent Duo an odd look and Quatre looked worriedly his way.

Wu-Fei rolled his eyes as Duo continued to speak, "Who killed her!? Let me at 'em!"

"No one killed her, Maxwell, she died of old age." Wu-Fei informed the stricken old man.

"Old age?!? She's only sixteen!!"

Heero shot Wu-Fei an understanding look, "And how old are you?"

"Sixteen?"

Wu-Fei shook his head. "Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

Duo hurries inside, his voice floating back, "I'm looking in the mirror right now, and I've never looked better!"

"That's not a mirror, that's a picture of you when you were sixteen," Heero slowly disappeared into the house. "Here's a mirror."

A scream from the cabin finally woke the sleeping Trowa. "What the..."

"I'm bald!"

"I thought you came to grips with your baldness a long time ago, Duo." Quatre said from the wicker chair.

"I'm freakin' bald!!!!!"

A thud was heard from within the house, and Heero reemerged from the house, dragging a lost looking Duo.

"I'm...I'm....*sniff* bald...." sobbed Duo.

"Enough, Maxwell. We know. You've been bald for twenty years." Wu-Fei pointed out.

Duo slipped into silence. Trowa, trying not to fall asleep again, turned to Quatre.

"Have you gotten a letter from your son?" he asked.

"What? No, the sweater I'm making isn't done."

"HAVE YOU GOTTEN A LETTER?" Trowa yells a bit louder. Wu-Fei sneezed in the background.

"Yes, I'm feeling much better, thank you."

"No, no, have you gotten... oh never mind..."

"What?!" Quatre yelled.

"Man, this sucks. I hate being old. I'm bald."

"Oh yeah? Well, I keep falling asleep."

"What?" said Quatre.

"And Quatre over there can't hear a thing because he keeps LEAVING HIS DAMN HEARING AIDE IN HIS ROOM!!" Trowa yelled right next to Quatre's ear.

"No, I'm not going anywhere soon."

Trowa shook his head, "Oh shut up, Quatre."

Heero raised up from the chair with what looked like remote control in his hand.

"By pushing this button, Trowa, I can kill you. There are explosives under that chair. HAHAHAHA!"

"I see some people don't change that much with old age. The old fart's still trying to self destruct his things." Wu-Fei noted in a bored tone.

"He can do that?" Duo asked as his jaw dropped open.

"Not with the television remote control... zzzzzzz." Trowa said as he fell asleep yet again.

"Damn it!" Heero yelled as he threw the remote control into Quatre's lap. "I'll be back."

He disappeared into the house again and the noise of someone looking for something is heard.

"Watch out for my good china, Heero." Quatre calls as the sound of glass breaks travels out of the house.

"Man...this sucks...I hate being old...I'm bald..." Duo repeated.

"You've already said that, Duo." Wu-Fei blandly said.

"Oh, that sucks, too. I keep repeating things. And I forget what I've already said and what I am going to... hey, what were we talking about?"

"Yeah, well, I keep forgetting where I put things." Heero called from the house as the sound of more glass breaking is heard. "And I can't fix my hip like I used to. It refuses to let me set the bone anymore."

Wu-Fei sneezes and said in a quiet voice, "I...I pee a little....every time I...sneeze..."

Heero quickly reemerged from the house and Trowa woke up. Everyone looked at Wu-Fei, stunned.

"But...you sneezed just a little while ago, Wu-Fei." Trowa said.

Wu-Fei just sat in his chair and dropped his head in embarrassment. Heero sat back down across from Trowa with a wild, maniacal grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about, Heero?" Duo asked.

"I found it...muwahahahahhaha! NOW YOU DIE!!!" He pressed the button.

The sound of a woman's voice came from inside the cabin.

"This is your morning news, with highlights from last night's speech by the new ambassador of the colonies."

"Wait a minute, if that was the remote control..." Duo pondered.

Wu-Fei sneezed again. "Ah shit..."

"Oh, I don't want to hear about Merimea anymore." Quatre raised the remote control and aims it into the cabin.

"DON'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL, QUATRE!!!" Duo yelled.

Heero laughed yet again as the sound of snoring came from Trowa.

"What??" Quatre asked as he pushed the button.

KABOOM!!!!

The End